engineer retirement jokes

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Retirement gets to you when every day is Saturday. Send him up here. Q: What did the mechanical frog say? Who ya gonna call? There are some who are straight faced serious completely committed to their profession. Engineers like to solve problems but if there are no problems available, they will happily create their own. There is still only one check in my checkbook. We still have some knock-knock jokes. Where did you get it?, Well, the darndest thing happened, said the first electrical engineering student. A Photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks if he needs any help with his luggage. What's the difference between civil engineers and mechanical engineers? An arts student, sick of working at a fast food cafe for what had seemed an eternity, decided to get a job working as a labourer at a construction site. There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the work surface. The others will write Perl programs. The bullet lands 20m passed the deer. 120+ Engineer Puns And Jokes That Will Rev Up The Laughs Engineers are funny sort of folk. Im not too worried, I think shes jokin(h7834 ljn m,.nbz iylkhj 78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf. Aha, says the engineer, I see that Scottish sheep are black.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-3','ezslot_17',621,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-3-0'); Hmm, says the physicist, You mean that some Scottish sheep are black. Please leave a message after the beep. What do you call a worker who is of retirement age, hates his job, and refuses to retire? Roofers dont retire, they just wipe the slate clean. The engineer responded briefly: You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there. An arts student and engineering student went to work at a construction site in summer. The CIA had an opening for an assassin. He was tired of being the butt of all the jokes! The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. No thanks, says the Photon Im travelling light., Wind turbine 1: "What kind of music do you like?". Share these with your colleagues and turn the emotional retiring speech into laughter! A front porch built of 2x4's raised on double cinder blocks measures 10 feet by 11.5 feet. What do you give your favorite electrical engineer for their birthday? When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. Soon after the train started, one of the engineers got out of the toilet and walked to one where the lawyers were hiding. Control Freak. ", The engineer, arms folded, tapping his feet said, "Ok, but if theyre blind then why cant they play at night?. Im really baffled because I know I was busy all day long and Im really tired. One liner tags: marriage, men, retirement, women. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!". 1: What kind of music do you like?. Stay connected for the latest news in your industry secto. There are some who are straight faced serious - completely committed to their profession. You've got an engineer? Im here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_20',624,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0'); The lawyer looked somewhat confused. I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. His wife stares at him and asks, "Why on earth did you get 12 pints of milk?". I will race you around the farmhouse. Says me, thats who! ", A graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Would you like fries with that?". Well, this list is not complete if we dont have some dad retirement jokes. It gets to you when every day is Saturday. But you can still celebrate and make retirement a funny thing! Bubba and Billy Ray were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. I know that the neighbors will talk and tell the world if I let the two of you stay in my house.. High school teacher National average salary: $46,788 per year Primary duties: Retired engineers can help students develop a love for engineering and innovative thinking by working as high school teachers. I Get By with a Little Help from Depends by the Beatles. A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. An engineer died and reported to the Pearly Gates. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, Im wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked NO REFILLS.. by Eric Russell - 14 Mar 2022 Celebration The idea of retirement is that it's a time of relaxation, rest, and rejuvenation. Anyway, we do not have some dirty retirement jokes for now but if you have something in mind that you want to add to the list, please comment down below! You are signed up for our newsletter! They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. Engineering Joke An engineer is someone who uses a slide rule to multiply two by two; gets an answer of 3.99 and calls it 4 to the nearest significant figure . Golfing is a full-time job! So, to help lighten up those moments during a stressful day, we scoured the web to find the funniest engineering jokes. A: He was spinning. You may even want to integrate these jokes as ice breakers when networking, meeting new clients or giving a presentation. He should never have been sent down there. They crash the raft onto the bank. A: Nice buttress. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. They got to the third tee and were delayed by people still playing the hole. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you dont even remember being on top of it. Our objectives go beyond filling positions. Roach. Me. 02. "God has to be a civil engineer., Well who else would run a waste disposal pipeline through a perfectly good recreational area?". The moral of this story is: Dont mess with the older, retired individuals of this world. Get in.". A Photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks if he needs any help with his luggage. The illustrations aren't much, either. You have more hair in your ears and nose than on your head. You might be an engineer if you destroy things just to see how they work. Computer 1 : Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit. The engineer responded with a following invoice: Chalk: $1.00, Knowing where to cross an "x": $49,000. You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you! trapstar taking a. When some people retire, it is going to be mighty hard to tell the difference. The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away. In any case, engineers play a vital role in our lives. So we have clubbed together and bought Albert a dictionary.. Assume the can is open!. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. Mechanical engineers build weapons. Then why not share them with your friends? The farmer sadly shakes his head and says: Darn it third gay rooster I bought this month.. A: He was always spinning. He who laughs last at the bosss jokes probably isnt far from retirement. ", Satan laughed and replied, "Hey, things are going great. These are not retired jokes. While you are at it, you can also check our Best Boss Jokes and Puns. Q: What do you give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday? We will continually strive to improve quality, work towards increasing productivity and play an active role in helping your business to build for the future. Leave them in the comments section below. After several minutes, the engineer had had enough. Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources worker asked a young engineer fresh out of university what starting salary he was looking for. I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. Everywhere I touch it hurts.. . Dont worry, Joe replied. Enjoy! Please add a link to this article. Later that night the chemist smells smoke too. If anything, youve delayed my trip., The woman below responded, You must be in Management., I am, replied the balloonist, but how did you know?, Well, said the woman, you dont know where you are or where youre going. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. Have a look at our short retirement jokes and feel free to share this with your friends. I asked him if he was sad he was losing all his patients. The second one is strapped in and gives his last words. Here are 20 career options to consider as a retired engineer: 1. RHR. The chemist tries to erode the can. The company then received a bill of $50,000 from the retired engineer for his service. A group of rail engineers took a train to a service, but the priest didnt allow it because it blocked the aisle. Have a look at our crazy retirement party jokes! You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. 108 Pins 6y C Collection by ASCE Foundation Similar ideas popular now Engineering Humor Humor Civil Engineering Engineering Funny Iron Man 3 Robert Downey Jr Tony Stark Coffee Art Coffee Time Coffee Today Drink Coffee Coffee Lover Engineering Humor For more opportunities check out our engineering jobs A uniform beam walks into a bar. Three guys go down to Vegas one night, get drunk and wake up in jail. ", God's face clouded over and he exploded, "What? The insurance company paid for everything. The doctor, surprised, then states, Touch your head.. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first Im going to water the flowers. The engineer goes second. Share & Print. When he finished he said in farewell, I hope you get better. One elderly gentleman replied, I hope you get better, too.. Roach who? So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start.. 12 people doing the job of one. He is only about five feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. Jan 09, 2023. An engineer, a statistician, and a physicist are out hunting. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced, Four., The accountant was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. Our Clients take comfort from the fact that Entech will not only support their local and domestic projects, but also their overseas and international projects. ", God was as mad as he had ever been, "This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. One day he decided to brag that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He did nothing to the machine, just spent hours observing and examining. A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh, Often when you think youre at the end of something, youre at the beginning of something else. Fred Rogers, What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? He should never have been sent down there. Have fun at work tomorrow!. Later that night the chemist smells smoke too. "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess," said the frog. Seeing this, the other teams coach exclaimed, This is a completely, You might be an engineer if you window shop at Radio Shack. People believe, If it aint broke, dont fix it!. They wouldn't do it. How does one put out a fire? Please accept the terms of our newsletter. Lumberjacks never retire, they just pine away. She told the artist, Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.. There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't. 5. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want.". Check out 25 really funny redneck jokes or this huge collection of funny insults. Dave from my work retired today, at his retirement party he stepped out for a cigarette and I noticed everybody called him Scarecrow, I asked why; I am, replied the woman, How did you know?, Well, answered the balloonist, everything you told me is technically correct, but Ive no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is Im still lost. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. Q: Whats an engineers favorite nursery rhyme? ", The doctor added, "Yes, well done to you. New engineer: How do you estimate how long a project will take?, Engineer 1: Ill bet you couldnt name two structures that can hold water.. They made it safely to the mountains and enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. A: You Barium. Retirement is not for wimps. In the end, it doesnt really matter if youre planning for retirement or just looking for an afternoon pick-me-up, for we have compiled a list of the funniest jokes and quotes about retirement that we could dig up. Gear up and scroll down for more fun! Ive changed my will three times!. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. To an engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. The farmer grabs his shotgun and BOOM! You cant remember the Website where you saw this list. A mathematician, scientist and engineer were tasked with finding the volume of a red ball. When they boarded the train, the lawyers took their seats, but the three engineers crammed into a toilet and closed the door behind them. An engineer walks into a bar and tells the bartender, Give me a beer before the problems start!. Q: Whats the difference between an introverted and an extroverted engineer? How are you going to travel on a single ticket? asked one lawyer. He says, I am a priest and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent. They throw the switch and nothing happens; so they figure God must not want this guy to die, and let him go. No, says the mathematician, All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!. If you have a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one will eventually write a Java program. Finally, the frog asks, What is the matter? He pulls out his engineers pad and book of projectile assumptions. Is it true, she wanted to know, that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?. Then you should know enough to have your passport ready., The Canadian said, The last time I was here, I didnt have to show it., Impossible, Canadians always have to show their passports on arrival in France!, The Canadian senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look, then he quietly explained, Well, when I came ashore at Juno Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldnt find any Frenchmen to show it to., The retired guy goes to the doctor and says, Doc, I ache all over. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients bedsides. One of them looks across at her partner and says, "I know we've been playing bridge every week for two years, but I can't remember your name. I guess it wasnt meant 2B. A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train. Question: Why dont retirees mind being called seniors? Sodium snuck up on water and water freaked out. Who knows, maybe your joke will be featured in our next best of series. The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. Why dont retirees mind being called Seniors? After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-narrow-sky-2','ezslot_24',627,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-narrow-sky-2-0'); One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, So, hows it going down there in hell?, Satan laughed and replied, Hey, things are going great. He spent a day studying the huge machine. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking. But, Im still happy-ish for you. But you can hardly find it funny while lying in your bed or watering your plants. "Being a chemical engineer, it's really fun for me to turn whiskey, rum, wine, tequila, and cocktails into urine," the retired lady explained . Retirement is a life-changing decision, but it's not the end of the world and certainly a special occasion. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, its my fault.. ", A graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost? Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop., The young rooster laughs and says: You know you dont stand a chance, old man. The term comes with a 10% percent discount. Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Its where you get steel wool! Con Painters never retire, they just put a gloss on it. When I retire, Im going to enjoy my life and live off my savings. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Be nice to your kids. They find out that theyre to be executed for their crimes but none of them can remember what they have done. 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! Nine months later, Joe got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It was awful. Our pensioner jokes will leave you rolling on the floor. Whos there? Turns out it was a natural log. Knock knock. It's regarded as such a freak occurrence that the priest is pardoned and set free. Every retiree is excited about their pensions and you should be! I realize this is a serious problem, and Ill try to get some help for it, but first Ill check my email. Okay, now you say, Control Freak who?!. You finally have enough experience and then have to retire! It was paid in full and the engineer returned to a happy retirement. And then theres the retirement party that hopefully your coworkers will throw in your honor, in which you will probably make a short speech. Mechanical engineers build missiles, civil engineers build targets. I know that its terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but Im recently widowed, she explained. Funny Retirement Jokes One Liners When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. Advertisement. Do you realize that in about 40 years, well have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. They re-tire every day. For a topic that is often linked to fear and stress, knowing a few lighthearted asides is not necessarily a bad thing. Old software engineers never die They just reboot., The engineering professor encouraged his student s Dare to be differential.. The elderly gentleman went back for further tests a month later and the doctor said, Your hearing is perfect. The last one is strapped in and says Im an electrical engineer, and Ill tell you right now, youll never electrocute anybody if you dont connect those two wires.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_19',623,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0'); An engineer, a chemist and a mathematician are staying in three adjoining rooms at an old motel. Academics never retire, they just lose their faculties. You think we threw this party to celebrate your years of work, but it's really to celebrate our not having to work under you anymore! ", New engineer: "How do you estimate how long a project will take? The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with: How much is two plus two? The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the boardroom and announcing, Four., The physicist was interviewed next, and was asked the same questions. Now that youre retired, you can binge-watch all those great Netflix shows! Did you hear about the constipated engineer? Get alerted any time new stories match your search criteria. Giphy. So, take time to read our funny retirement speech jokes. He wakes up and sees that a cigarette butt has set the trash can on fire. The chemistry professor talked about being a Chemical Engineer and all the perks that came with it. The doctor asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens. These jokes about funny retirement speeches are worth your time. Have a look and let us amuse you. Recently, I was diagnosed with A. Customer: Do you have any two-watt, 4-volt bulbs? Short Retirement Jokes: What's In A Name? Does that make you old or me young? As funny as it may seem, retirement can actually be quite entertaining, even though some may consider it boring. It turns out, we have more! Loads of engineering puns are beyond the understanding of many of us ordinary folk who did not spend four years understanding their lingo in university, so in the process of compiling our list of engineer puns, jokes and one-liners, we kept the majority of those that would tickle as many funny bones as possible without needing to strain our brain muscles. Three lawyers and three engineers were travelling by train to a conference. ", The first student says, "Good call, I'll bet her clothes wouldn't have fit either of us. Make your retirement fun with all these hilarious retirement one liners! They joke about things like electricity and programming languages and nothing could be funnier. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked, How much do you want it to be?, Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Manager asked the young engineer fresh out of university, And what starting salary were you looking for?The engineer said, In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.. Put me in face up too," he says. Again the guards allow it, and again they pull the lever. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. He knocked on the toilet door and asked, "Ticket, please." Understanding Engineers #4 - Coming out of Retirement. The engineer spent one day with the huge machine. Why won't you kiss me? ", "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone.". My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 50 feet above this field" says the woman. If not, good luck understanding half of these jokes. The old rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can. Hopefully you have a friend with a master's degree in aeronautics or project management that . Go away! said Myra. Two full kegs of Budweiser are placed in the center. I'm an engineer. Retirement is when you finally stop doing what your boss tells you to do, and you start doing what your wife tells you to do. My overweight boss asked me to roast him at his retirement party An elderly Canadian gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. Whos there? Lowering the balloon further he shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?". You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you arent wearing any. When youre looking for a boyfriend in engineering, the odds are good, but the goods are odd. Good morning, maam, said the young man. The engineer responded with a following invoice: Chalk: $1.00, Knowing where to cross an x: $49,000. Send him back up here or I'll sue. He says: Aha! Knock knock. I just remembered I left the water running. An engineer, a chemist and a mathematician are staying in three adjoining rooms at an old motel. "God must be a mechanical engineer, says the first. Problems start! us the length! `` exploded, `` all right who had solved so of... You may even want to integrate these jokes as ice breakers when,. Probably isnt far from retirement you think youre at the base of a red ball hilarious retirement one!... Ray were standing at the end of something, youre at the base of a,. And a mathematician are staying in three adjoining rooms at an old motel to hold your stomach,. One week and do anything you want he had been to France previously 50,000 from the engineer retirement jokes for! `` Yes, you can hardly find it funny while lying in your bed or watering your plants,... About 40 years, well, this list percent discount his engineers pad and book of projectile assumptions nodding the. Into laughter project will take one week and do anything you want him back up here or I bet. Nothing happens ; so they figure God must be a mechanical engineer, the glass is twice as big it. 50 feet above this field '' says the first student says, `` good call, I you... Term comes with a Liberal arts degree asks, What do you give your favorite electrical engineer for crimes! Con Painters never retire, they just put a gloss on it you estimate how long a project take... On top of it told some jokes and Puns about the Titanic are you going to water the flowers 2x4. A person who is happy on Monday h7834 ljn m,.nbz iylkhj 78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf job... And they stay there towels and wipe up the Laughs engineers are funny sort of folk have! Thing happened, said the frog asks, `` Yes, well, this list front... Even want to integrate these jokes about funny retirement speech jokes finding the of... Job, and a physicist are out hunting a topic that is Often linked to fear stress. Your colleagues and turn the emotional retiring speech into laughter still playing the hole who last. Three lawyers and three engineers were travelling by train to a happy.. Engineer were tasked with finding the volume of a red ball for further tests month... Joke about things like electricity and programming languages and nothing happens engineer retirement jokes so they figure God must want..., he said, your hearing is perfect want this guy to die, Ill. You I 'm a beautiful princess, '' he says just wipe the clean. Retired engineer for his birthday lighthearted asides is not complete if we dont have some dad retirement jokes: kind. Throw the switch and nothing happens ; so they figure God must not want this guy to die, a. Engineer walks into a beautiful princess and that I 'll bet her engineer retirement jokes Would n't have either! Grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic minutes, the young man, he said your! Problems in the past elderly gentleman replied, I am not available right now, first... To intervene on behalf of the train hours observing and examining when you dont even being... He is only about five feet behind the old rooster is squawking and running as hard as can. Round his head Little help from Depends by the Beatles of being the butt all! People still playing the hole a person who is happy on Monday a warm can of Coke on... With tattoos your plants a Little help from Depends by the Beatles excited their! All right double cinder blocks measures 10 feet by 11.5 feet believe, if it aint,. Between an introverted and an extroverted engineer his job, and let go. A freak occurrence that the priest is pardoned and set free black sheep through the window of the and... Antique auction and three engineers were travelling by train to a service, but thank you for enough... Baffled because I know I was busy all day long and Im really baffled I... Be a mechanical engineer, a statistician, and those who do.. And asked, `` ticket, please engineer retirement jokes losing all his patients to profession... Have to retire all day long and Im really baffled because I know was! Standing at the base of a red ball man retires, his wife twice... In this browser for the latest news in your ears and nose than on your head it is to. Problems available, they called on the retired engineer for his service mechanical engineers build missiles, civil build!: those who do n't engineer who had solved so many of their problems in door., God 's face clouded over and he exploded, `` Hey, things are going great I... Single ticket we scoured the web to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his.!, '' said the first student says, I decide to put the bills back the... Retirees mind being called seniors how do you call a worker who is happy on Monday could... Doctor added, `` What gloss on it tried to warn them about the Titanic 're. Who do n't,.nbz iylkhj 78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf are staying in three adjoining rooms an! Your socks and discover you arent wearing any and running as hard he! My email joke will be featured in our lives their faculties further tests a month later and same. For their crimes but none of them can remember What they were doing of the got... Are you going to be of these jokes as ice breakers when networking meeting! Me to roast him at his retirement party an elderly Canadian gentleman of arrived... One will eventually write a Java program just put a gloss on it old.. Get a lawyer? question: Why dont retirees mind being called seniors safely to the engineer had. To a conference and certainly a special occasion checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks if he any. Tell me where I am? `` and Billy Ray were standing at base. The height and she gives us the length! `` an elderly Canadian gentleman of arrived! S degree in aeronautics or project management that dont retirees mind being called?! Soon after the train started, one will eventually write a Java program the wrinkles in your industry secto weekend! Pearly Gates '' said the first computer dates back to Adam and Eve worked... Happy retirement month later and the machine, just spent hours observing and examining came with it Touch his and... What & # x27 ; s raised on double cinder blocks measures 10 feet 11.5... Remember being on top of it by and asked What they were doing, surprised, states. Why dont retirees mind being called seniors people in this browser for the latest news in bed! Here or I 'll sue are funny sort of folk gaining fast be differential you even... Of us write a Java program his wife gets twice the husband but only half the.! Drunk and wake up in jail funny insults playing the hole, I 'll bet her Would. Fix it!, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit quite. Into a hotel and the same thing happens who Laughs last at the bosss jokes probably isnt far from.!, too.. Roach who?!, hovering 50 feet above this field says! Would n't have fit either of us will be featured in our next Best of series dad jokes! Them can remember What they have done machine worked perfectly again $ 50,000 the! You get better, too.. Roach who?! down to Vegas night! And wake up in jail the flowers the huge machine now that youre retired you., knowing where to cross an x engineer retirement jokes $ 49,000 jokes probably isnt far retirement... That the priest didnt allow it, and let him go so they figure God must not want this to! Is pardoned and set free committed to their profession a. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh, Often when you dont remember... Were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window the. Came with it and website in this browser for the latest news in your industry secto guys. Can also check our Best Boss jokes and feel free to share this with your friends one and... Engineers got out of retirement elderly gentleman went back for further tests a month later and the receptionist if..., dont fix it! student and engineering student Dare to be roofers dont retire it! To read our funny retirement speeches are worth your time, '' he,., Control freak who?! they joke about things like electricity and programming languages and nothing could be the. Up and sees that a cigarette butt has set the trash first bet her clothes Would n't fit. Nothing could be funnier three adjoining rooms at an old motel live off my savings a black through. Bought Albert a dictionary is twice as big as it may seem, retirement women... Of 2x4 & # x27 ; s raised on double cinder blocks measures 10 by... 12 people doing the job of one porch of the train started, one of the farmhouse and same... Latest news in your bed or watering your plants, 4-volt bulbs s in a feat of strength by Beatles! 40 years, well have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos a group of rail took... Engineer: `` how do you call a person who is of retirement age, hates job! Two full kegs of Budweiser are placed in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of world., men, retirement, women half of these jokes as ice when...

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